How to Communicate Effectively While Dating a Filipina

Filipino women are generally known to be soft-spoken and demure. In fact, to avoid coming across as unpleasant or arrogant, Filipinos, in general, tend to be passive and often convey their opinions and ideas in a diplomatic and neutral manner.

Although this may be a very endearing quality, it may also lead to issues and misunderstandings, particularly when foreign men are dating Filipina women. Westerners are known for being quite direct and straightforward with their opinions while conversing with others. They ask questions with confidence and are direct communicators. They also communicate quite enthusiastically, assertively, and confidently—qualities that are far too different from those of their Filipino partners.

How Do You Cross over the Communication Gap?

The cultural difference may have played a huge part in the communication gap when dating a Filipina but that doesn’t mean that it cannot be overcome. It’s a widely used saying in the dating world that “communication is key to any relationship” and that is very true.

It is the foundation of great and lasting relationships. Being able to navigate while effectively communicating can help your life to become easier and your relationship more fulfilling. Here are five communication methods that can help you communicate effectively with your Filipina partner.

1. Engage them to talk and practice active listening on your part.

They are not particularly talkative because they have a tendency to be very passive. A little prodding is all it takes to get a Filipina to express her wants, intentions, and emotions. They require some level of assurance that you are prepared to listen to them without feeling judged.

By encouraging them to open up, of course, you need to practice active listening on your end as well. Make sure that you show genuine interest in what she’s saying without being distracted.

2. Express yourself as well.

Effective communication is not about focusing the attention on one side. It’s a two-way traffic that needs attention and expression from both sides. Communication is about expressing yourself, thoughts, and feelings to your partner in an honest and open way. Assert yourself in the conversation in a polite way while keeping your sense of self-identity while respecting the opinions and emotions of your partner as well.

3. Pay attention to non-verbal cues.

This is not just about the actions alone, you should also take note of the changes in their voice or how they look at you with resentment in their eyes all while saying “I’m fine” or “It’s okay.” You have to take note that Filipina women are not good at knowing how to communicate in a relationship. Their tone and attitude can give away a lot more than their words. However, no one will really blame you if you can’t pick up on it during the early stages of your relationship. This skill takes familiarity. Just continue to be patient and you’ll soon get the hang of it.

4. Control your emotions.

If not always, we get caught up in our own tangled emotions especially when we are discussing sensitive topics and then we get too far ahead. Sometimes, we try to predict what is on their mind through the things they say and don’t say. As much as we want to be mind readers, we are now and we shouldn’t have to be in communication with someone special to us. However, passive aggressiveness can be a toxic Filipino trait and you need to know how to handle it.

It’s simple to overlook the main point of the conversation when the two of you are overwhelmed by the tension and emotions of a fight. Be honest about how you feel, and make an effort to communicate it in a healthy way before things escalate to the point where someone says something they later regret. It’s crucial that you both try to understand one another.

5. Practice Accountability

Personal responsibility is a virtue while dating a Filipina, not a flaw. Admitting your mistakes is a necessary part of effective communication. Accept your share of blame in the disagreement if you both contributed to it, which is typically the case. It resolves the conflict, provides a positive example, and demonstrates maturity. Your girlfriend will most likely respond in kind, bringing the two of you one step closer to an agreement and a solution.

Indirect Communication Cues You Need to be Aware Of

It is reasonable to say that you may find it challenging to communicate in a relationship if you are unsure of what you are doing wrong. But dating a Filipina, you should know that it is not their strongest suit.

Here are some signs to look out for to help you out:

• Watch out for hints of hesitation.
  It is a common Filipino behavior to be bashful, especially if it’s a Filipina in love. They would often just agree to everything to save face or evoke shame in most of their interactions. They would seldom say a direct “no” when being asked as well. You need to pay attention to both their verbal and non-verbal cues for you to decipher what they really want.

• Get used to the puckering of their lips when they’re pointing to something. This is something that most foreign people might seem not to decode right off the bat. When your Filipina girlfriend pouts her lips all of a sudden, it’s not always that she wants to be kissed. Sometimes, they are pointing to something and they just want you to get it for them.

• Say goodbye to your personal space. Most Filipinas are very clingy and sweet in nature. They would always prefer to always be by your side. However, you can also take the hint that something is wrong when she won’t even let you hold her hand, much less be in the same room as you.

• Learn what that laughter means. Although Filipinos frequently laugh during interactions, the context often determines what the laughing means. Laughing is most of the time a sign of enjoyment or pleasure, but sometimes, it can also be used to release tension during a conversation. Occasionally, some people would laugh to try to hide their humiliation.

Being vague and hesitant in being honest may appear to be signs of bad communication in a relationship, but this is not always the case, especially if you are dating a Filipina.

Successful maintenance strategies are critical in interracial relationships to maintain effective communication. Being optimistic is essential but it’s not going to be a problem with a lovely and cheery Filipino woman by your side.