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“Panliligaw,” or courtship used to play a vital part in traditional Philippine society. What we know as courtship
today is far more laid back than what it used to be.
In the past, gender roles were strictly followed. Women should never make the first move. On the other hand, men
had to prove their true love and intention not just to the
woman they love but to her family as well. Because of this, courtship used to last a long time, even up to a year.
Courtship was so important before that every region in the country had its own version. To give you an idea, here
are four of the most popular form of courtships then.
Harana
Harana is the most portrayed form of courtship on Philippine TV. Here, a suitor visits the home of the woman he’s
courting and serenades her. While the Filipina sits pretty on her home’s balcony, he sings romantic songs while
playing guitar. Sometimes, he’ll bring a friend to sing with him or provide moral support.
Harana is usually done at night. Traditionally, songs sung during the Harana contain a proclamation of love. And of all the traditional forms of
courtship, harana is the most familiar among the younger generation.
Paninilbihan
Paninilbihan is another custom that revolves mainly around the Filipina’s family. Here, the family measures the
man’s dedication in his pursuit. He performs acts of service to her family like doing most of their household
chores.
He will chop firewood, fetch water from the groundwater well, cook meals, help with laundry, and more. The family
will then judge whether the man’s intentions are sincere and measure his dedication. Then, they will assess whether
the suitor deserves to date their daughter.
Pasaguli
Pasaguli, or Riddle courtship, was among the most popular courtship practices during the 333-year Spanish reign. It
was most prominent in the province of Palawan.
Here, the suitor will confess his love in the form of riddles. He will perform these riddles not just in front of
the woman he holds dear, but in front of their parents. Depending on his performance, they will either praise or
critique his riddle piece.
If everything goes well, both parents will proceed to discuss the dowry settlement. Dowry is the man’s gift or
offering to his future in-laws. This gift can be monetary, like gold or silver, or property like land or rice
fields.
Pasaguli is no longer practiced. But it bears a close resemblance to the millennial’s “hugot” talk.
Balak
Balak is a traditional Filipino courtship method that was widely popular in the Visayas region.
It is the practice of reciting poetry to win the heart of a woman. The man spends a long time creating a wonderful
poetry piece — carefully picking powerful words that rhyme with each other. Every word should describe his
overflowing love for the woman he intends to marry.
The man can choose to “balak” in two ways. He can either perform it in front of her, like reciting a poem. If he’s
too shy, he can write the piece down and let the woman read his confession in silence.
These are just four of the many courting traditions in the Philippines. While formal courtship is no longer
frequently practiced nowadays, the fact that it helped shape the Philippine dating landscape still remains.
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