Managing Expectations When Dating Filipino Women

There’s a certain allure to Pinay women that seems to weave its way into the fantasies of men all over the world, and it never fails to amaze humanity - particularly because Filipinas are regarded by some to be divinely-sent blessings. This is why many men enjoy dating in the Philippines.

Many men in the United States (or any Westernized country for that matter) feel that there is a peculiar mysticism correlated with the novelty of dating youthful Filipino girls, almost to the point where stereotypical assumptions emerge in these men’s minds (particularly among men who have never tread on Philippine soil before).

Most Westerners can think of at least one guy who has previously had a Filipina girlfriend. Truly, the phenomenon isn’t all that recent.

Since white men pursuing local girls in the Philippine islands (and vice versa in the United States) is so popular, the preconceived notion of the practice is strengthened and cemented in the eyes of men in the Western world - and it tends to persist in that fashion.

Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the past seventy-five years or fell into hiding right when World War II ended, someone who’s paid attention to global cultural norms within this century has certainly seen this social dating dynamic at work before.

To be clear, the aim of this blog is to go into detail about what to anticipate when dating a Filipina woman; however, in order to paint a complete picture, we must first examine the early interrelationships that gave birth to the current phenomena we see currently.

Let us take several steps back in time and look at the past of the two races in order to do this. That’s correct, a brief history review to give this topic some much-needed sense.

Believe us. Actually, it’s quite interesting.

Some believe that the appearance of the Americans and their eventual settlement of the Philippines in 1898 ignited the first sparks between the races, as American culture started to blend with and influence Cultural identity, and the populations of the two races started to interact and copulate.

The Spanish-ingrained idea of fair skin equaling attractiveness saw a newcomer on the scene in the eyes of the Filipino people. These Americans matched the pre-existing beauty expectations and popular sentiment set by the previous conquerors.

These small highlights were eventually overshadowed by the vicious Philippine-American conflict, which saw General Emilio Aguinaldo conduct guerrilla tactics against the technologically sophisticated US army, resulting in a shocking amount of Filipino casualties.

This was due to a reluctance to recognize foreign colonial powers and a natural desire for liberty.

Fast forward to the nineteen-forties -

When the G.I.s landed in the Philippine archipelago to fight the invading axis powers, the Filipinos fought side by side with their once-hated and despised colonizers, an unusual event in history that saw the oppressors and the oppressed working together to battle a common adversary - the Imperial Japanese Army.

Following the Second World War, the Philippines’ victory and eventual independence permanently cemented peaceful ties between the Philippines and the United States.

Now that we’ve gone through that quick history throwback, here’s what you should expect when dating a Filipina woman as a Westerner, and why this dynamic is the way it currently is.

1. In relationships, it’s not common to see a dominant Filipina woman (and not in the context that you’re imagining)

Or sometimes it is.

But, in any case, it’s difficult to undo a culture’s passivity after 425 years of colonialism. That’s nearly 3 quarters of a century.

Most Filipinas aren’t really “submissive,” per se (some are sassy, courageous, and daring), but some do have a tendency to be indecisive or uncertain of themselves - particularly when it comes to taking the lead, making relationship choices, where to eat, where to go, and so on. (We understand that this is a subjective matter.)

When the partnership is new, this is more apparent. Filipinos in general are reserved and self-conscious, and they may be wary of authority or something beyond their comfort zone.

This implies that when you initially begin dating Filipino women, you will find yourself making a majority of the decisions, which is acceptable. She’ll ease up around you gradually, and she may even take the initiative once you both enter a long term relationship.

2. The hospitality that Pinay women are famous for is definitely a reality.

Pinay women are known for their ability to accommodate visitors, perform motherly roles, and provide hospitality, all of which stem from centuries of rich cultural heritage - a cornerstone of Filipino traditions.

A Pinay woman can be a wonderful wife, and they honor love with fidelity. They’ll prepare you the absolute best soul food you’ve ever had, and if you respect them properly, they’ll stick by your side.

This is particularly evident when dating older Filipinas.

3. “Marry a white man to escape poverty” is a stereotype that isn’t as common as you think.

Some less privileged Pinay girls strive for a better life outside of their hometowns’ poverty and hardship, and their only hope is a ticket to the West with a foreigner.

However, not all of these ladies are looking for that. Some of these women simply need affection. Your intoxicated cousins’ accounts from their journey to the Philippines aren’t always the way they seem.

Not all Pinays are gold-digging prostitutes willing to give up their modesty for every white man they meet, and not all of them are looking for a long-term relationship without marriage.

It would be a misjudgment to believe otherwise. Most of these ladies have high self-respect, integrity, and credibility. If you pass this judgment on the wrong woman, you should expect to be rejected. Be cautious; if you get too sleazy, she will slap you.

4. They have hearts of gold.

The sheer commitment and perseverance of a Filipino woman who is dead set on achieving her goals? That is an unrivaled power.

A pinay woman’s heart is as solid as steel. They have the strength of character to conquer hardship, find joy in the midst of adversity, and are more than worthy of receiving and reciprocating love. This is what Filipino culture is about.

So, if you’ve found the Filipino lady of your dreams, keep her - but maintain these expectations, too.

Best of luck.