When to Walk Away from Someone with Mental Illness

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and for some, mental illness is a difficult path they need to tread on.

With 23.1% of American adults in 2022 suffering from a mental health condition, a relationship wherein one or both partners is a scenario that’s increasingly becoming more common (Duszynski-Goodman 2024).

A mental health concern becomes an illness when signs and symptoms frequently cause stress and affect one’s overall behavior and capacity to function. A few examples are depression, anxiety disorder, eating disorder, and addiction. It has a significant impact on one’s work life and relationships, especially those that are intimate.

Loving someone with a mental illness can be complicated, overwhelming, and frustrating. You may go through painful episodes and find yourself clueless about what to do, and sometimes, you even think it’s a hopeless case.

That said, it is essential to know how to maintain a loving, supportive, and long-term relationship with someone who has a mental illness.

Learn to understand their situation and needs and when to stay or, in the worst-case scenario, when to walk away from someone with mental illness.

Love Isn’t Enough to Cure Mental Illness

A mental illness is a medical condition that requires proper treatment through medication and psychotherapy. You may think your love and affection alone would be enough to fill your partner’s needs. However, several factors are at play, not just your relationship.

The root cause of mental disorders can be deep and complex, including history, personality, weaknesses, fears, and other relationships. These significantly impact your partner’s present difficulties more than you can imagine.

Although love has positive effects, you are not your partner’s savior. Love cannot cure mental illness; it is a struggle they must go through themselves.

However, you can support them. With this, try to detect possible symptoms early in the relationship and understand their situation.

Understanding Mental Health Issues

Loving someone with a mental illness means educating yourself about it. Learn its signs, symptoms, triggers, and possible treatments. This will not only help you discern if you should go through this challenge in your relationship, but it will also allow you to support your partner if you decide to stay.

However, understand that signs, symptoms, triggers, and treatments vary from person to person. Observe your partner’s behavior to have a fuller and deeper comprehension of who they are and their sickness.

If you are willing to give the relationship a chance, supporting your partner in this struggle would be the best option.

A survey by Mind and Relate showed that 74% of respondents with a mental health issue regularly discussed their illness with their partner, and 60% of these people reported that doing so helped them manage their relationship.

This shows that consistent communication can help you cope with the sickness and strengthen your commitment at the same time.

Loving someone with a mental illness is not a death sentence. There will always be hope and a means for you to work things out. However, you should know when to draw the line.

When to Walk Away from Someone with Mental Illness

Your partner is responding well to medications. All is good, so you take your relationship to the next level. Now, you’re living with a spouse with mental illness. It’s good if their progress is consistent, but what if your situation is the opposite and hope becomes bleak? When should you walk away from someone with mental illness?

People with mental illness may not have proper control over their feelings and actions. This can lead to emotional, mental, and physical abuse. If their illness puts you in a dangerous situation, step away.

Another case to consider is when your partner is outright refusing help. An untreated mental illness harms the person and those around them. If your partner does not want to help themselves, there is no chance that you can help them.

Moreover, when the relationship becomes toxic, it no longer brings any good to either of you. When you are full of resentment, fear, pity, and sadness, you leave no room for love to grow. It would be better to temporarily or permanently take time away from the relationship.

It’s never a wrong decision to try and help someone you love, but your support would only go so far if your partner is not giving their best in return. If they are not cooperative with the treatment or show hostility, perhaps you should reassess your relationship.

This can be heartbreaking, especially in marriage, when you face losing your spouse to mental illness. But perhaps being away from each other is better for both of you.

Coping and Acts of Self-Care

Loving someone with a mental illness can take a toll on you. No matter how much you care for the other person, you will have to learn to take care of yourself first, because if not, you will feel drained and have nothing left to give to your partner.

Surround yourself with people you can confide in and who will listen to you with understanding. It is not healthy to deal with such a problem by yourself. Having someone to share with will help you take a healthy distance from the situation and make more objective decisions.

Also, remember your own needs, treat yourself, relax, and de-stress. These may seem small, but they are necessary to ensure your security and peace.

Choose to Stay or Let Go

Dealing with a person with a mental illness is a tall order, more so when it is someone with whom you have an intimate relationship. However, some people suffering from such an illness manage to work it out and find love and peace in a healthy relationship.

But sometimes, things will not work out as we wish, and it’s understandable if you let go. That said, know when to walk away from someone with mental illness. Remember, you are not to blame for the problem. Sometimes, a painful decision leads us to heal and live more happily. But, if you stay, take care of your well-being.