The Art of Chivalry: How to Be a Gentleman

“A guy tells. A man explains. A gentleman inspires.” – Anonymous

What is a gentleman?

According to Encyclopedia Britannica, a gentleman, in its strict and original meaning, refers to a man of a good family. It derives from the Latin word gentilis, which means generous. Over time, the definition of this term has evolved.

It came to signify rank and affluence in the early 19th century. Hence, the old gentleman refers to having a good education and social position.

However, novelist Thackery Dickens brought a new meaning to the term through his work, Great Expectations (1860). His main character, Pip, was an orphan who yearned to be a gentleman and rose to the upper class. While fictional, his story brought the advent of the “nature’s gentleman” or the possibility of advancing your social class through good morals (Galakof 2015).

In today’s world, being a gentleman extends far beyond nobility or aristocracy. Modern culture has established it to be a timeless pursuit of respect, honor, and courtesy toward others, regardless of social status or background.

Unfortunately, gentlemen have become extremely rare in a world that focuses on self-interest and individualism. But this should not discourage you from striving to be one.

Being a gentleman in this present time means inspiring others to embrace a higher standard of behavior and fostering a culture of empathy and respect.

This article will provide you with insights into how to be a gentleman. This way, you can become a more respectable individual and a more loving partner to your Filipina girlfriend.

7 Gentlemanly Qualities

Learning how to be a perfect gentleman involves more than just knowing the sidewalk rule or when you should pull up a chair for your lady. It is also about knowing what qualities you should embody.

1. Generosity

The word gentleman originally meant generous, so this is a no-brainer. But generosity does not only refer to giving material things. It also means giving time, wisdom, and effort.

2. Good Manners

Being well-mannered includes being kind, respectful, and empathetic. This can be done even through small gestures, such as holding the door open for your partner, saying proper greetings as a sign of respect, and always coming on time.

3. Trustworthy

A real gentleman keeps his word. If he promises to do something, he does it. He is a man who everyone can trust because he follows his words with his actions.

4. Civil

To be civil means to stay calm, composed, and collected, even in difficult situations. A gentleman does not let his emotions cloud his judgment. He is logical and rational in his decision-making. And most importantly, he treats everyone equally with respect, regardless of their rank in society.

5. Confident, but Not Arrogant

A gentleman possesses the right amount of self-trust, which gives him the confidence to share his knowledge with others. But he is not arrogant, as he knows that he still has a lot of things to learn. He is teachable and is open to receiving input from other people.

6. Consistently Himself

Consistency is what makes a gentleman. He is the same person at home and in public. He does not need to pretend to be someone he is not. He has strong values and morals, which he can apply wherever he goes and whatever he does.

7. Self-aware

A gentleman knows he is not perfect and will never be. He is self-aware and knows his limitations. He is not afraid to accept his shortcomings. He sees them as opportunities to be a better person.

How to Be a Gentleman 101: Specific Practices

If you want to be the best boyfriend to a Filipina, it’s in your interest to treat her with respect and chivalry. Here’s your guide to being a gentleman in this modern world.

1. Treat her with respect.

Be a gentleman to your girlfriend; honor her. Always be mindful of your words, tone, and volume when you talk to her. Treat her with kindness and patience, even in the most difficult times.

2. Hold the door open for her.

Statista reports that most American men consider holding the door open for a woman a gentlemanly act. And there’s no harm if you practice it.

For instance, on a date with your Filipina partner, get out of the car first and open the door for her. When you’re getting inside a restaurant or any establishment, hold the door open and let her through first. It’s basic.

3. Be true to your word.

As mentioned, a true gentleman lives up to his word. When you say you will do something, do your best to fulfill it. If you cannot do it, be honest with her. She will appreciate you more.

4. Pay attention to her.

Stop checking your phone when you’re with her. Pay attention to your conversation. Active listening is one way to be a gentleman in life. It shows that you are patient and genuine in your interactions.

5. Learn to apologize when you’re wrong.

No true gentleman, or person for that matter, is perfect. So, know how and when to apologize for your mistakes. Learning how to be a gentleman starts with accepting that you are a work in progress and a lifelong learner.

6. Ask her if she went home safe and sound.

After every date or get-together, you should ensure she arrives home okay. If you can, send her home yourself. This may seem trivial, but it’s one of the most notable ways to be a good gentleman.

7. Be her number-one fan.

Your woman needs your support. Rather than putting her down when the odds are not in her favor, encourage her and offer your suggestions. The last thing she needs from you is your judgment and the dreaded “I told you so.”

Be a Gentleman for Others

You don’t need a coach or a 100-page manual to learn how to be a distinguished gentleman. You only need to know the qualities that come with being one.

However, it takes more than just knowledge of how to be a gentleman; it takes practice, dedication, and willingness to achieve the true meaning of the word.

Remember that your purpose is not to receive accolades or recognition but to inspire others and make a positive impact.

Finally, don’t just be a gentleman to date beautiful women. Be so to be a worthy partner and the best thing to ever happen to her.