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Dating and Dealing with a Gold Digger

A stack of gold bars.
Through the whirlwind of love and romance, this is what a gold digger truly wants.

You have to guard yourself when you’re dating someone. It’s not until trust has been established that you can begin to let your guard down. There’s a reason for that: in order to be in a romantic relationship with someone, you have to be deeply vulnerable.

This can be especially true for people who have money. Because they don’t just have to worry about falling victim to the usual ulterior motives of other people, they also have to worry about the dreaded gold digger.

What is a gold digger? It’s a person who engages in a romantic relationship with another person in order to get that person’s money. They may care about their target to some degree, but their main focus will be the target’s money or some other resource.

So, what are the signs of a gold digger? How can you spot a gold digger from an ordinary person who wants to date you for you and not for your bank balance? Are there ways to test if someone is with you for the right reasons?

This can especially apply to Westerners who date foreigners. Sure, you want to believe that they love you for who you are, but maybe they’re just looking for a relatively quick way to leave their home country. Maybe money isn’t the only type of green that they’re looking for.

And if you do identify someone as a digger of gold, how do you deal with them? Should you cut them off from your life, and is there any best way to do it? Does anyone truly know how to spot a gold digger or do they all fly under the radar?

Some hundred-dollar bills.
Gold diggers are after your wealth, not your heart.

How to Identify a Gold Digger

When it comes to identifying a gold digger, you first need to leave your preconceived notions at the door. Yes, the stereotype of a young woman dating a much older man is probably the first thing that comes to mind for most people.

While there are admittedly a lot of gold-diggers who fit that mold, there are some other subtle signs of a gold digger to watch out for. For example, they won’t look like they’re chasing wealth, they’ll look like they already have it. If they’re a woman, they might be in a chic sheath dress. If they’re a man, they may tote around a leather briefcase.

They won’t be classless either. They’ll appear to know about business, politics, art, and culture. They might even be able to reference obscure Russian art and speak six languages and identify which region of France a bottle of wine originates simply from its scent.

In fact, many historical gold diggers came from the upper echelons of old money society. The most notable of these would be the European aristocrats who married American dollar princesses — the daughters of newly wealthy American tycoons, and used that new money to replenish coffers that previous generations had squandered.

Because they look like they’ve already got money, they’re able to lull their targets into a false sense of security. After all, why would someone who already has money need to chase it by engaging in a romantic relationship?

Another sign that someone’s only in it for the money is if they ask about your occupation. Look, it’s only natural to want to know what the person you’re dating does for a living, but if someone is overly interested in your job, it’s because they’re trying to gauge your annual compensation plus bonuses. If you’re looking for signs she’s a gold digger, then a strong interest in your gross annual income is a pretty big one.

A credit card being swiped.
Gold diggers want your credit, not your companionship.

How to Make Them Expose Themselves

If you want to go about catching a gold digger, there are a few things that you can do. One is to downplay your income. Someone who expresses disappointment that you don’t make as much as they thought is basically ratting themselves out.

Another way to root out someone who’s not in a relationship with you for the right reasons is to live in their country. If they’re only with you to get a green card, living in their country denies them that. If they’re overly upset, then they weren’t with you for you. If they’re just happy that you’re going to be with them, then most likely, they’re genuinely interested in you.

One more way to catch one is to not pay. This doesn’t mean not paying for anything, ever. But this does mean not fighting them when they offer to pay or splitting the bill and going Dutch. This will make you look either poor or stingy and either one is going to scare away most gold diggers.

How to Deal With a Gold Digger

If you, unfortunately, end up realizing that the person you’re in love with is a gold digger, what do you do next? Well, there are a couple of ways that a person can deal with gold diggers.

One way is to do nothing. Some people who date gold diggers understand why their partner is with them and the couple comes to an understanding that’s mutually beneficial to the both of them. The rich person gets a companion and the gold digger gets access to wealth and status.

It’s not the solution that most people would go for if they found their partner was only with them for the money, but it can work provided there’s honesty between the two people.

But the solution that most people would think when dealing with gold diggers is to break up with them, to just end the relationship. Some people might even ghost them. That’s certainly one option and it’s the one that frees a person up to go find someone who’s genuinely interested in them.

Gold diggers have existed and will exist so long as there are wealthy people who don’t keep their guards up. They’re not going to go away unless rich people cease to exist. The best that someone with means can do to protect against a gold digger is be on the lookout for one.

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