Becoming The Ideal Man That Women Want

Sometimes, I’m a bit amused at the way we modern people appropriate old words and apply them to relationship situations that we’re only beginning to come across. One of these words is stonewalling.

This seemingly new word isn’t new at all. It’s not even about stones anymore. The word, as the modern public knows it, likely has its origins in politics. It means to be uncooperative or evasive. It’s a little bit like the silent treatment, but it differs in intent.

While silent treatment is often meant to hurt the other person, stonewalling is more like a fight or flight response.

It goes kind of like this: “I better shut my mouth so I don’t make things worse…”

Sure, it can be beneficial to just choose silence to keep from making any argument worse at times. Stonewalling isn’t always done on purpose, but when it's deliberately and habitually done, it poses a significant problem in your relationship.

Why?

Because…

Choosing to turn your back on arguments, especially those that need immediate action, can send complicated or unclear signals that your partner would most likely misunderstand.

Your resistance as the stone waller to address the conflict will leave the other party confused, or it could give the impression that you simply don’t care, which can be frustrating and may trigger forced or worse confrontations.

By opting to keep your silence with the intention of not adding fuel to the fire, you not only risk being misunderstood, it can have the opposite effects that you’re trying to achieve.

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and imagine what it’s like to be left hanging in the middle of a quarrel or a heated argument, not knowing what to do. You’d probably feel all sorts of overwhelming emotions, right? That’s what they would feel, too, and more.

Your partner would suffer from all the unsaid words and suppressed emotions. You’ll be leaving the problems either unresolved or worsened because what’s intended to be combatted head-on is instead met with a cold intentional pause and behavior.

And guess what, you’d also suffer from it. Stonewalling puts additional baggage on both of you individually. This would strain the relationship in the long run.

Stonewalling may imply a reluctance or refusal to work out problems. It can gradually destroy your communication, intimacy, and emotional connection.

Tension can and will build up as you stonewall your partner. It can also block approaches that could help the situation improve and be resolved. It puts a tight leash on the relationship you have.

Stonewalling can seem like a good solution, but it can actually damage your connection.

I know sometimes that silence or choosing to withdraw may be the best option to ease the situation – it could be the most powerful thing to do under specific circumstances.

So be sensible enough to navigate relationship conflicts. Don’t let your silence leave your partner questioning their worth. You might end up watching your relationship go down the drain.

Be vulnerable and express yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that.