Did you know that a significant number of individuals prefer dating single parents?
This is according to a recent survey, with nearly two-thirds of respondents (62%) stating their preference to date single parents. These individuals believe that single parents are more likely to be committed to family, friends, and loved ones.
If you’re a single parent, you might not think giving a second chance to Cupid is a good idea. You’ve been through a lot. You’ve had your heart broken more times than you can count. You’ve raised your kids on your own, and you’re exhausted. You’re not even sure if you’re capable of love anymore.
The psychological effects of being a single parent can seep into your dating life. But despite that, you still long to find someone who will accept you for who you are, kids and all. Dating after heartbreak is tough. It’s even tougher when you have kids.
Here, we will provide useful dating tips for single moms and dads for returning to dating after a long hiatus.
Dating as a single parent is totally different from dating as a single with no kids, for the simple reason that you have a kid. Your priorities are family first, personal life second. When you’re a single parent dating a non-parent, you want to make sure that you’re both on the same page and stage in life. There are some of the challenges your relationship could face:
Limited Time
When you’re a single parent, your kids become your utmost priority. You often have little time left for yourself. Not only will you have less time to meet and date other people, you’ll have less energy to spend.
Introducing Your Kids to Your New Partner
When dating as a single parent, you have to be mindful of how your children would react. Introduce your children gradually to your new partner. You have to make sure they feel comfortable with the new person in your life before you start spending a lot of time together.
Dealing With Your Ex
If you share custody with the mother or father of your children, you may have to deal with them at some point. This can be a challenge, especially when your ex-partner is not supportive of your dating life. Although you don’t need your ex’s approval to date, their opinions about a potential step-parent for your children may still influence your dating choices. Your children may also be attached to your ex, so that is another issue to deal with.
Finding Someone Who Understands and Accepts Your Situation
Finding a partner who can relate to you, understand, and accept the situation is key to making the relationship work. You want to find someone who is patient and willing to fit into your life with your children.
You deserve love, no matter your situation. You can make this work.
Here are some of the tips to help you get started:
Make sure you are ready.
It’s hard to decide when is the right time to date again, but you have to think it through. Ask yourself if you are emotionally, physically, or mentally ready. You have to think about your ability to balance your dating life with your parenting responsibilities.
Stop guilt-tripping yourself.
It may be normal to feel guilty about dating when you have kids. But it’s important to remember that you deserve to be happy. And if you’re worried about being looked down upon by friends or family, think again. It isn’t as taboo as you might think. There are lots of guys dating a single mom in her 30s or 40s and lots of women dating middle-aged single fathers.
Choose your dates wisely.
Remember that you’re looking for someone who can be a potential step-parent for your children. If you’re a guy, consider looking for like-minded women. There are many single mothers who are looking for a man, so you’re never really out of options. The same goes for women as well.
Think about your deal-breakers.
Consider your non-negotiables when finding someone to date. This will save you time and effort. For one, don’t date people who can’t handle responsibility, or who won’t make the effort with your kids.
Be honest and upfront about your situation.
Don’t keep your kids a secret. Tell your date that you’re a single parent and that you have kids. It’s crucial to establish your situation at the beginning and tell your date what your expectations are for the relationship.
Take it slow.
Don’t rush into anything serious when you’re dating. Take your time to know the person well enough to determine if they are what you’re looking for. This could also mean refraining from introducing your date to your kids too soon. It will be hard on everyone’s part when the relationship ends early.
Be mindful when introducing someone to your kids.
Be mindful when you decide to introduce your kids to someone you’re dating. Gauge the comfort level of your children about you dating someone new. Don’t force them to spend a lot of time with your date right away.
Communicate with your children.
This new person you’re dating might stay for a long time. And they will become part of your kids’ life. So you have to make your kids involved. Update them about what you’re doing, who you’re dating, and how you feel about the relationship. It’s also important to listen to their concerns and answer their questions.
Don’t expect the world.
Don’t expect everything to go according to your plan. Try to have realistic expectations. Don’t expect your new partner to be perfect for you and your children. Take note that you’re not perfect either and that you’re both going to make mistakes.
Bonus Tip: Join a dating app for single parents.
If you’re open to dating a single dad or mom just like you, joining a dating app is a great way to do it. There are many different dating apps out there that are specifically designed for single parents. This can be a great way to meet other single parents who are looking for the same things as you.
Parenting is already a demanding task. It can be even more challenging when you are also trying to date and fulfill your parental responsibilities.
What you can do is set boundaries between your dating life and parenting life. This will help you avoid getting overwhelmed by your situation. This could mean not spending too much time away from your kids when you’re dating. Be transparent about your availability and your expectations for your children. For example, you could decide to only date on weekends or weeknights when your kids are with their other parent.
If your kids are old enough, explain to them that you’re dating to find someone who can be a good partner to you and a good step-parent to them.
If you feel overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or a babysitter. This will free up some of your time so you can focus on dating for the time being.
If you find that you’re having trouble balancing your dating life and your parenting life, you can always slow things down or take a break from dating.
You desire to find someone who will accept you and your kids. But remember that you and your children are not a burden. In fact, there are many benefits of dating a single mom or dad. You have to be able to handle a lot on your own, so you are typically very capable and self-sufficient. While raising your kids, you learn to have more patience and understanding. People may be surprised by what you can bring to the relationship.
But don’t feel bad about yourself when things don’t go your way. When you encounter a lot of dating failures, it doesn’t mean you are not worthy to be loved. It just means that you haven’t found the right person.
Keep putting yourself out there and meeting new people. Keep in mind our dating tips for single moms and dads. Eventually, you’ll find someone who is accepting of you and your kids. And when you do, it will all be worth it.
© Philippine Women
