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Leading with Love | How to Lead in a Relationship

A man showing a woman how to lead in a relationship
A gentleman must know how to lead in a relationship.

A man taking the lead in a relationship may seem like an old-fashioned idea. But is it right to totally dismiss the notion?

According to a survey, 40% of American respondents believe men are better qualified for that role. Marriage therapist Jessica Small says this statistic is both surprising and predictable. “Despite a very large push and progression towards gender equality, the dating landscape still is grounded in more traditional gender roles and beliefs,” she tells CNBC.

This seems to suggest that a gentleman such as yourself should best know how to lead in a relationship.

But how can you take the reins without being a controlling partner, especially in this day and age? We have some pointers for you.

What Does It Mean to Lead in a Relationship?

Taking the lead in a relationship means showing initiative, particularly in decision-making and planning. The leader in the relationship takes on an active role in executing the desired outcome.

While a healthy relationship involves a balance of give and take, one partner—usually the man— assumes a higher responsibility for steering the relationship in the right direction.

And no, the other person doesn’t just sit around and wait for instructions. A guy like you should subtly guide your partner while trusting their sound judgment and paying attention to their wants and needs.

Why Is Taking the Lead in a Relationship Important?

Although couples should treat and respect each other as equals, someone should know when to facilitate so you’ll know which direction your relationship is going. But why is this leadership important?

Here are some reasons:

1. It fosters mutual trust.

As your partner learns how to lead a relationship, you’ll learn to trust them to do the job. And with that, they’ll also trust that you’ll take their direction without issue. How will you become a reliable pillar if your partner can’t count on you?

Woman hugging man from behind
Learning how to lead a relationship allows you to form stronger connections.

2. You learn more about each other.

Learning how to lead in a relationship gives you and your partner room to know each other better. How? Leaders have to be intentional towards their partners. You should know what makes them happy while observing their turn-offs.

Your investment will pay off in the long run. Your partner will take note and appreciate that.

3. You become reliable.

You can’t be indecisive in a relationship. Why? You’re not the only person affected by your choices; you should think about your partner too!

And with that, you should brace yourself for making hard decisions. Being passive and expecting things to sort themselves out won’t help you. Once you embrace the decisiveness that comes with leading a relationship, you’ll become a more reliable person in your partner’s eyes.

4. It encourages accountability.

Taking the lead requires you to be responsible and accountable for the well-being of your relationship and your personal actions. Not only should you own up to your decisions and actions, but your partner should also call you out when necessary.

How to Be a Leader in a Relationship

As we alluded to earlier, leadership in a relationship is all about building a healthy and supportive dynamic from mutual respect. You don’t get that if you force your partner to follow you unopposed.

Are you unsure about where to start? Let these tips teach you how to lead as a man in a relationship:

1. Set your intentions

If you want to know how to lead in a relationship, you should make your intentions clear. What do you want out of your partnership?

These are some of the questions you should ask yourself as you outline your intentions:

  • How much do you want to try new things?

  • How do you want to go about fights and arguments?

  • How much emotional intimacy do you want to have?

Your desire for happiness alone won’t be enough to sustain satisfaction. If you want to lead a relationship, define your idea of a successful union. From there, work on integrating them into your relationship.

Couple standing under bright lights
Knowing how to lead as a man in a relationship entails realizing you can’t fix everything.

2. Control your urge to fix everything

We know some of us can’t help but fix things you view as broken. However, don’t step in immediately when your partner complains.

Do you know how to lead a woman in a relationship effectively? Know when to step back. Don’t let your ego make you get involved in situations headfirst without knowing their contexts.

If you don’t control your urge to fix everything, you’ll only come across as an uncaring partner who doesn’t listen to anyone else. If you don’t have a solution to a problem, there’s no harm in asking questions! Your partner will appreciate that instead of thoughtless actions.

3. Get a grip on your emotions

We can’t help but get emotional sometimes, which is fair. We’re not robots, after all. However, it’s a different story if you can regulate your emotions.

Don’t let your emotions overrule your logic. Balancing both is a challenging task every day, but you’ll need to learn how to pull it off or risk being in an emotionally toxic relationship.

What can you do? Exercise your leadership by making sure your masculine energy provides your partner with a safe space, especially in hard times. This will show them that you won’t run away when life gets difficult.

4. Don’t be afraid of space

You can’t expect to be beside each other 24/7. That’s just impossible and impractical. This will also make you appear clingy and needy, which is the last thing anyone wants from a partner.

A woman wants a man who leads by example. Do that by maintaining a healthy distance. You and your partner still have separate lives outside of your relationship. Don’t make each other your sole source of fulfillment because there are many other things to look forward to.

5. Mean what you say

If you’re going to make a promise, be a man of your word! You don’t want to be seen as an unreliable partner who can’t be trusted.

Don’t fall for the old cliché that views promises as things that are meant to be broken. Sticking to your word adds integrity and builds loyalty, which makes bonds (especially romantic relationships) last longer.

Nobody wants a passive partner. Relationships are more satisfying when both parties are equally invested and passionate.

We hope our pointers have given you clues on how to lead in a relationship. Now go out there and be the best partner for the woman of your dreams!

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