Am I Marrying the Right Person?

You’re looking at your Filipina partner. Images of a blissful life together start playing in your mind. You’ve been dating for a while now, so is it time to tie the knot? Most importantly, is she the right one?

The Science Daily reports that 47% of husbands and 38% of wives admitted to having entertained doubts before walking down the aisle (Wolpert 2012).

It’s only right to ask, “Am I marrying the right person?” since such a commitment is life-changing.

However, if you are wondering how to know if you are marrying the right person, remember there is no yardstick or full-proof checklist that will tell you point-blank that they are the one for you. Often, a mix of objective and subjective factors gives you that gut feeling that you’ve finally found the one. So how can you choose well?

Dating helps you make such a decision. You get to know your partner and prepare yourselves for a lifetime commitment.

Certain milestones together, recurring incidents, or remarkable characteristics in your partner can signal you to take the plunge or, on the contrary, step back and end the relationship. Since it’s one of the most important decisions of your life, it’s good to know the green and red flags in a person.

Good Qualities in a Partner

“How do I know I am marrying the right person?”

A Filipina has many desirable characteristics, but some qualities will help you tell more clearly if she is fit to be a wife. Consider a woman’s interior qualities more than her exterior ones.

1. Kind and Compassionate

A woman may be undeniably beautiful on the outside, but her lasting charm is her heart.

Her kindness should show in her words and actions, seeking to be of service whenever the situation calls for it. She should be kind and compassionate, not just towards you but to others as well, making those around her feel loved and safe. Her gentle presence should be a rest you can always look forward to and rely on, especially on tough days.

2. Loving and Affectionate

When a woman is loving and affectionate, she is irresistible to love in return, bringing out the best in a relationship.

Ultimately, your mutual affection, sustained by your concrete efforts, will lead you to a lifelong partnership.

3. Caring and Nurturing

It is natural for women to be caring and nurturing. She brings life, both physically and emotionally, wherever she shares her gifts.

So, marry a woman with such qualities. Remember, you will be raising children with her. Someone who selflessly gives herself for the good of others will make a good wife and a wonderful mother. Her care and concern will make your home truly a place of warmth and welcome.

4. Trustworthy and Faithful

Trust is non-negotiable in a profound commitment such as marriage. This is naturally tried and tested through the varied experiences that a couple goes through over time.

When you find a woman who you can trust with your strengths and weaknesses without fear or shame, you have one for life. There will always be rough roads and stormy seas in a marriage, but her faithfulness will be like an anchor that will keep you grounded in who you are and keep the relationship firm.

5. Supportive and Understanding

As a wife, a woman is your partner in life and for life. You should see her as a faithful supporter you can always count on in good and bad times. When faced with challenges, her gentle presence should make you feel secure. Her understanding and patience should sustain you and your marriage as you overcome these difficulties.

How Do I Know if I Married the Right Person?

From asking, “Am I marrying the right person?” to “Am I married to the right person?”

Perhaps you’ve already tied the knot, yet you want reassurance. Here are some signs that tell you that choosing to marry your Filipina girlfriend is the best decision of your life.

1. You are Comfortable with Her

Being with someone daily for the rest of your life is a big deal. You might as well spend it with someone you know you’re comfortable with. If not, it would be terrible to endure boredom or annoyance daily. If you can listen and talk to your wife for hours, enjoy her company, and be your best and worst self, you most likely have the right person to share life with.

2. You are Looking Forward to a Future with Her

One of the ways to know if you have married the right person is by knowing your response to the idea of a future with them. If you’re excited about it and filled with plans and dreams together, that’s a positive sign.

Marriage entails a new house, children, or typical family events. If you are not looking forward to a future with her, then maybe it’s a sign to question your present relationship.

3. She Shares your Values and Goals

Since you live life together, having common interests and values will make your days more meaningful and fulfilling.

According to a study on older adult couples, joint goals positively relate to goal progress, relationship satisfaction, and health (Ungar et al. 2021).

This shows that sharing the same purpose and beliefs helps make your bond stronger and closer. They may say opposites attract, but what matters in the long run is what keeps you together.

4. She Makes Life Better

How do you know if you married the right person? Life is so much better with her by your side. If you see yourself becoming a worse person or failing to reach your goals because of your partner, she is not the one for you. Your wife is your best friend. The only reason to marry her is because she brings out the best in life and in you. If not, then there’s no reason to get married to her at all.

Consequences of Marrying the Wrong Person

Because marriage is a major commitment, it significantly impacts your life, family, and children—positively or negatively.

No one can be the perfect spouse. However, avoid a mismatch that might make you constantly ask, “Am I married to the right person?” Otherwise, you may experience these consequences:

1. Conflicts

Conflicts abound in difficult marriages, and they may end up causing deep wounds and trauma. Because your partner has great significance in your life, the wounds caused by a conflict with her may be extremely deep and painful. Recovery and resolution could take plenty of time and effort.

2. Unhappiness

A broken heart because of a relationship with the wrong person is hard to overcome. It can make you depressed and affect your mental health. It is tough to accept getting your dreams crushed by someone you thought would bring you happiness, but there will always be hope if you let go and try again.

3. Damaged Health

“Did I marry the right person?”

If the answer is no, your health will often bear the consequences. Studies show that a marriage replete with fights and disagreements can have negative health implications for the couple (Liverpool 2018).

Conflicts in a relationship can damage one’s natural body responses, such as the release of stress hormones, appetite regulation, and inflammation, which can then affect one’s heart and immune system.

4. Financial Difficulties

If marrying the wrong person leads you to get a divorce, you may suffer financial woes. Getting a divorce could be expensive and would leave you not just with a broken heart but also with an empty bank account. Marriage is a strategic way to sustain wealth, but it can also be the worst way to lose it.

Take Time to Choose Well

“Am I marrying the right person?” Weigh your answer to this question prudently and patiently. The decision to tie the knot has ripple effects on all aspects of life.

Reflect on whether your partner truly has the qualities you’re looking for; ask yourself why you would choose her.

The importance of marrying the right person cannot be overstated, but at the same time, remember not to look for Ms. Perfect. Your future spouse will inevitably make mistakes, fight with you, or even hurt you, and maybe vice versa. But if both of you are willing to forgive and work it out, all the challenges will be worth it. Do not despair because the right woman is out there for you; you just have to choose well.