There comes a point in every relationship where everything falls apart. Even the most seasoned and well-adjusted couples reach a crossroads of whether to power through together or go their own separate ways.
It’s easy to think maybe life would be easier if you were single. No breakups, no disagreements, no heartaches— total freedom from the pains caused by loving someone.
But at the same time, you know you long for it. You know that a genuine relationship offers something special and fulfilling. When you’re in a relationship with someone you love, you have someone to share your life with. You have someone to laugh with, cry with, and grow with. You have someone who knows you better than anyone else and loves you unconditionally.
As the English Author John Donne says, “No man is an island.” We do not thrive when we are isolated from others. We rely on the company and comfort of others. That’s probably why we long for love, and for someone to love us back.
However, in the waves of change, we feel uncertainty and doubt in the direction of the relationship. This is because change can be disruptive and can challenge the status quo. It can also bring up new challenges and uncertainties that we may not have been prepared for. The result? We give up.
In this article, we will provide helpful input on what to do when you feel like your relationship is falling apart. And in the end, we hope you will be able to answer your question of whether you should stay or go from your troubled relationship.
We know that no two relationships are the same. It depends on the two persons involved. What one couple can tolerate might be a deal-breaker for another. But there are always signs that something is wrong.
A deteriorating relationship will typically have the following symptoms:
There is a communication breakdown.
A breakdown in communication—one of the pillars of a relationship— is an ominous sign. If you and your partner can’t talk to each other anymore, avoid talking to each other, or your conversations are regularly heated and argumentative, then you have deep issues you need to address immediately.
There is minimal or lack of intimacy.
You’ve noticed a lack of hugs and kisses. You and your partner are slowly becoming emotionally disconnected. You used to be inseparable, but now you feel like you’re living separate lives. You don’t talk as much, and you don’t share your thoughts and feelings with each other as you used to.
There is a loss of trust.
You no longer trust your partner, and vice versa. If trust is lost in a relationship, it’s a major red flag. You become suspicious of each other’s behavior or you find yourself constantly checking up on them.
There is an increasing conflict.
You fight over small things. Your constant fight can be a sign that your relationship is under stress. You may be arguing about the same things over and over again. Or you may find that your arguments are becoming more and more heated.
There is a loss of interest.
You enjoy the company of another more than your partner. You may find yourself spending more time with other people, or you may find that you’re no longer attracted to your partner. Love is starting to fade.
Challenges and conflicts in a relationship are normal. Most, if not all, couples go through difficulties at some point in their relationship. However, too many of these issues may make it hard to revive a dying relationship.
Here are five of the most common problems that couples may face as they go along:
Communication Difficulty
This is one of the most common problems in relationships. Couples may have difficulty communicating their needs and wants to each other, or they may have different communication styles that clash.
Infidelity
This is one of the major problems that couples may face. It can take your relationship apart. Infidelity in a relationship can be physical or emotional, and it can be caused by a number of factors. This can include unresolved personal issues, a lack of trust, or simply a desire for excitement.
Financial Disagreements
Disagreements related to finances are common among couples. Disagreements about how to spend, save, and budget can lead to arguments and resentment. This is especially true if one partner is staying at home and taking care of the house, while the other one is working.
Differing Values and Goals
Your difference in opinions and goals can be a source of problems later on in your relationship. As a result, it can be difficult to maintain a happy and fulfilling relationship. For example, if you want children but your partner doesn’t. This could be a potential major conflict.
Stress
Stress affects our quality of life. Stress from work, family, or other external factors can also take a toll on a relationship. If you and your partner are not able to manage stress effectively, it can lead to arguments, withdrawal, and even depression.
So much fighting and struggling with your partner can wear you out. You’re at the point where you’re showing several signs of emotional distress. But something deep inside is telling you that the relationship is worth saving.
Here’s what to do when your relationship is at breaking point:
Identify and share negative feelings.
Rather than suppressing your negative feelings, it’s practical to communicate them with your partner. You should be able to express your concerns and frustrations in a way that is respectful and constructive. This is one way to open up to each other and rekindle emotional bond.
Take responsibility for past behaviors.
Ask yourself and reflect if you are the problem. If you’ve made mistakes in the past, it’s important to take responsibility for them. This means apologizing to your partner and making an effort to change your behavior.
Learn to compromise.
No relationship is perfect, there will always be times that you will disagree. When the relationship starts falling apart, learn to be willing to compromise. This means being willing to meet halfway or give up something that you want in order to make the other person happy.
Make time for a regular talk.
Make time for each other. Remember how you started. Set a regular time when you and your partner can have a chitchat and share updates about each other’s life. It can be just a few minutes each day to talk about how you’re feeling.
Be patient and kind.
Relationships that are at the breaking point can be hard to rebuild. It may take time to go back to the way it used to be. Be patient with your partner and be kind to them, even when you’re feeling frustrated.
It requires deep thinking and analysis before deciding whether to stay or leave a troubled relationship. It’s even harder if you’ve been together for a long time. But remember that it’s not selfish to think about yourself and your happiness once in a while. If you are tired of the same cycle and want to break away from it, then leave. You deserve love, respect, and happiness. Focus on your growth and happiness, even if it means making a difficult decision to let go.
© Philippine Women
