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The Highs & Lows of Long-Distance Love

A woman engaged in long-distance love.
Long-distance love requires trust and commitment to thrive.

Let’s face it, we tend to have a negative perception when we hear about couples who are in a long-distance relationship. Somewhere within our collective mindset, we assume that this type of relationship is destined to fail. This perception may stem from the many breakups associated with LDRs. Maintaining a strong connection is already hard for couples who are physically together, what more for those in this arrangement?

We understand that being away from your partner for a month or more is not easy. However, you have to remember that you’re not alone in this situation. There is quite a significant percentage of couples who are in a long-distance relationship. According to statistics, millions of couples are in this type of arrangement. Some are forced into a long-distance love at some point in the relationship primarily due to work.

In a 2015 article by Insider, Emma Dargie, a Ph.D. clinical psychology student at that time, who had studied various long-distance couples, said that the most important aspect of maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship is communication. She also added that the couple has to establish early in the relationship the needs of each partner and how these needs will be met.

Here, we will provide the pros and cons of long-distance relationships. Additionally, we will offer practical suggestions to help couples thrive and maintain a successful connection in such circumstances.

5 Advantages of Long-Distance Relationships

Like any other type of relationship, loving someone from a distance involves facing many challenges. A couple who live near each other is already surrounded by conflict. The physical distance will make it even worse. But while there are unsuccessful long-distance relationships, there are also those that see the beauty of this type of connection. For some, it helps them build a deeper connection. You know what they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

A woman loving someone from a distance.
If you’re not committed to a relationship, loving someone from a distance is not for you.

Here are some of the advantages of a long-distance relationship:

  1. You will allow each other to grow.

    The romantic aspect of the relationship may start to wane if you’re always together. The distance between you and your partner will pave the way for your individual growth. Each of you will have the time to build your own goals that are not dependent on your partner’s.

  2. It will strengthen your emotional intimacy.

    In today’s modern dating scene, couples are often more focused on having physical intimacy with their partner. A long-distance relationship will help strengthen the intimacy between you and your partner that goes beyond physical contact. You will have more time to focus on listening to each other’s personal stories rather than focusing on the lack of physical intimacy.

  3. You will appreciate more of your time together.

    Sometimes, we take for granted the presence of a person because we know they are always there. But when time and opportunities force you to separate, that’s when you appreciate the time you spend with each other more. In a long-distance relationship, you will learn to value each time you are together.

  4. You will find more ways to communicate.

    Communication should become your priority when you’re in a long-distance relationship. Thanks to the advancement in technology, you will now be able to see and hear your long-distance lover in real-time. But due to time constraints, you will learn to improve your ways of communicating with your partner.

  5. It will test your love for each other.

    A long-distance relationship will truly test your love and commitment to each other. Some couples tend to give up when things get even harder. But if you truly love your partner and are committed to the relationship, your reunion will be more gratifying and will bring immense happiness to both of you.

5 Common Reasons Why Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Work

If you sense that your long-distance relationship is not working, take time to examine the factors contributing to this feeling or causing a potential breakup. Here are common reasons why LDR may not work:

  1. Communication Barriers

    Constant communication is an uphill struggle in long-distance relationships. Couples who have different work schedules and time zones may feel that communication is becoming burdensome. Try to think of something to keep the spark alive and make communication more exciting.

  2. Poor Time Management

    When you’re both busy with work, it’s easy to lose track of time. You tend to forget the other person who is not physically present. This is even more difficult for couples who have different time zones. One way to improve your time management is to create a time structure that will work for both of you. But remember not to put pressure on each other when things don’t work your way.

  3. Jealousy

    Although jealousy is common in all types of relationships, the physical distance between couples will amplify it. You may be jealous of the fact that they are spending time with other people. The best way to overcome jealousy is to be honest with your feelings to your partner.

  4. Temptations

    Temptations can be inevitable when you’re away from each other. Since it’s also easy to lie in this type of relationship, it’s easy to be carried away by temptations. If you’re easily tempted, you better end the relationship early rather than engage in a long-distance arrangement.

  5. Lack of Trust

    Lack of trust is what kills long-distance relationships. If your partner goes out a lot and your time for each other is affected, your trust will start to diminish. If you notice that your partner is slowly drifting away from you, address the issue right away.

A couple with misunderstanding portraying what kills long-distance relationships.
What kills long-distance relationships are poor communication and lack of trust.

Things for Long-Distance Couples To Do

There are many ways to spice up your relationship despite the thousand miles distance. Here are some ideas to keep the spark alive in your long-distance relationship:

  1. Schedule a date together.

    Your physical distance should not hinder you from enjoying each other’s company. Plan a date night or a movie date during your scheduled free time. Talk to each other while watching or make a movie review together.

  2. Play games together.

    If you want to be competitive, try to play online games with your partner. It will surely be fun hearing each other’s side comments. There are plenty of online games you can enjoy together.

  3. Send silly pictures of each other.

    Sending pictures is one way to ease the feeling of longing for each other. Make it even more fun when you send silly pictures to your partner. Pictures are also a way of giving your significant other a glimpse of your life, so they won’t miss that much.

  4. Share the highlights of your day with your partner.

    Your partner will appreciate it if you share your daily success with them. It makes them feel that they are still part of your life despite their physical absence. You can still celebrate each other’s milestones while being away.

  5. Start the countdown for your reunion.

    Set up a calendar and mark the remaining days until you see each other again. Counting down together for your reunion will make you look forward to that most awaited moment.

Love is not enough to make a long-distance relationship work.

Have you heard of the song lyric that claims, “Love will keep us alive?” It’s not always the case when you’re a thousand miles apart from each other. It takes trust and commitment to keep your long-distance love burning. Some couples who are in a long-distance relationship fail to maintain the connection because of a lack or loss of trust. The reverse of that is also true. The commitment to the relationship then begins to fade. So, even if the feeling of love is still there, the relationship is still likely bound to end.

If you want to avoid the same fate, you and your partner should be strong enough to handle all the highs and lows associated with long-distance relationships. You have to learn how to be mature in a long-distance relationship and handle things with patience, intelligence, and communication.

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