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Modern Dating | How to Navigate Love in the Age of Swipes

Couple engaged in modern dating
Thanks to the internet, modern dating has become both easy and overly complicated.

Finding a partner used to be a relatively simple process. You’d encounter someone in a random setting (work, cafes, daily commutes, etc.) and hit things off from there. That doesn’t sound too difficult, yes?

Nowadays, dating has become a stressor.

The inescapable influence of technology shaped what we now know as modern dating. Traditional dating practices, especially in countries like the Philippines, have become obsolete. In-person dating still exists today, but more and more people around the globe prefer finding romance on the World Wide Web.

This poses an issue, especially for older individuals: How do you get back into the game if you’ve been away from it for so long?

Dating as you understand it may almost be unrecognizable, so where do you even begin?

Not to worry, the concept of love and romance hasn’t changed. And with a few adjustments here and there, you might even come to fancy all the conveniences and benefits afforded by modern dating.

An Introduction to the Modern Dating Scene

What does dating look like in the 21st century?

Look no further than the people around you. People are busy swiping away on their phones, looking for the next attractive warm body to keep them company. To quote comedian Aziz Ansari, “Today, if you own a smartphone, you’re carrying a 24/7 singles bar in your pocket.

Dating nowadays is a mishmash of various trends and fads with ever-evolving terminology. Daters use terms like ghosting and soft launch to describe or explain their wins, losses, or behaviors.

One study says that the UK will have more than 50% of relationships born from online dating by 2035. It also predicted that most babies born in the country will be from parents who met online by 2037. With that, it’s safe to say that digital romance won’t die out any time soon.

The Pros and Cons of Modern Dating

Is dating through your phone convenient? Yes. Imagine just swiping on random matches left and right without leaving your house. But as easy as that is, finding love online has its cons.

The Upside: Access no limits

One of the best things about dating today is that you can access platforms at any time, anywhere. Whether you’re in your room or on vacation, you can pick and choose matches at your convenience.

The Upside: Matches are aplenty

Two people on their phones
In today’s dating scene, your possibilities are endless. You’ll never run out of people to match.

Dating nowadays gives you options you never thought would be available. Matching with someone from a far-flung country was previously unheard of! Thanks to technology, you get to enjoy a vast dating pool that spans many countries around the world.

The Upside: Communication comes with less pressure

Many modern dating interactions happen online. This reduces pressure and increases your confidence. Why? People can hide behind their screens and avoid the judgments and awkward silences that come with in-person meetups.

The Upside: You call the shots

Dating online means you’re in control. There are platforms offering search filters to save you from endless swiping or exploring. You can even talk to many singles simultaneously if you wish!

The Downside: Limitless choices can be overwhelming

Learning how to date today means grappling with overwhelming choices. Having many options can be great, but they can confuse you. It’ll make you feel like you’re on an endless search for perfection rather than forming a genuine connection.

The Downside: We can’t predict matches’ behaviors

With the many singles you’ll encounter, you’ll sadly bump into nasty ones. Some matches will cross lines and take inappropriate actions, while others are just scammers awaiting their next victims.

The Downside: Words are just words

We can’t always tell if a match means what they say because they hide behind their phones. Body language can either emphasize their words or be a giveaway of their true feelings, which we can only see in in-person interactions.

Why Is Online Dating So Hard for Guys?

With its pros and cons, the frustration people have with modern dating on the internet makes sense. Why is it challenging for men?

Perhaps these reasons may give you some insight:

1. Your chosen platform doesn’t align with your wants and needs

Is your chosen site or app meeting your desires and priorities? If you aren’t meeting your goals there, maybe you can try switching to another platform and try your luck there. Check the site or app to see if they cater to your preferences before signing up.

2. You have unreasonable expectations

Man checking his phone
Modern dating culture has made it difficult for men to make matches.

Singles on dating sites and apps aren’t a monolith. Not everyone will be a perfect 10 and check your every box. With that, you may want to temper your expectations.

You won’t meet someone and instantly form a special connection, so relax and take your time. You’ll only disappoint yourself if you let your expectations overrule your romantic pursuits.

3. You haven’t put in the effort

The work doesn’t stop at website registrations and filling in your basic information. Online dating needs effort too!

If you want great matches, you’ll need to build an engaging profile. Add details that give a glimpse of your personality without exaggeration. If you highlight your authentic self, there will be daters eyeing to catch your attention.

4. Your messaging may need some work

Check the messages you’ve been sending to potential matches. Maybe they just aren’t enough to get someone to pay attention. And that’s not a knock on you, by the way!

Perhaps your messages may need some fine-tuning. Make sure they indicate you’ve checked out their profile. Adding a relatable detail about yourself will also make your match notice you. If you want to add more engaging detail, ask an open-ended question they can’t resist answering.

How to Date in Today’s World

The uncertainty that comes with modern dating culture makes finding matches extra challenging nowadays. But fortunately, it’s not impossible.

Apply these modern dating tips to make your search a little less stressful:

1. Make your search intentional.

If you want meaningful relationships, look at where you’re meeting matches. Try getting to know people who frequent places you’re constantly visiting, like your favorite cafe or a nearby gym. You’ll have more chances at connections if you know where to look.

2. Keep your expectations manageable.

Couple emerging from a subway station
Learning how to date in today’s world means ditching unreasonable expectations.

Don’t get us wrong—having standards is okay! You deserve nothing less than great. However, real life doesn’t always give us what we want.

Sometimes, the best matches are people we didn’t expect to like. With that, keep an open mind on every date. Don’t make your expectations your be-all and end-all in your search for love. You’ll be more relaxed that way.

3. Don’t rush!

Don’t hurry and treat every match as a ticket to long-term relationships. Some relationships aren’t meant to last long, and that’s fine. Taking your time will make dating more fun because you’re allowing things to happen instead of controlling them.

4. View every match as a lesson.

Some matches will suck, and you’re allowed to feel disappointed. However, don’t let them upset you for too long. Treat bad matches as lessons for your preferences and non-negotiables. This way, you’ll know what to approach and avoid on future dates.

Modern dating may be unpredictable, but don’t let that scare you! Dates are supposed to be fun anyway, so why ruin them with frustration? Approach every match with healthy optimism to make your experience more enjoyable.

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